My story for you today is not all butterflies and rainbows…
Last Wednesday a fledgling Cooper’s Hawk fell into my yard. His parents built a nest in my tree about 2 months ago. I fell in love with him, and dubbed him “Stephen the Hawkling.” I instantly very connected to him, and came to understand that my guides were sending me a literal message: check out this video about his first flight.
The rest of the week was blessed by visits from the slightly awkward and endearing hawkling….hopping around the yard, looking in the house, sitting on my deck chairs...he even shadowed my cat through the glass door. One morning I found him playing in the sprinklers.
I felt he was trying to teach me something- a lesson about learning to fly with new powerful wings. (My own gifts have been changing and getting stronger as of late). I felt so attached to him, as we learned to “fly” together. I smiled and laughed with Stephen for a very special six days.
Then……
We had a terribly cold storm one evening. Torrential rain, and a temperature drop of 30 degrees. That night I had a dream about the Titanic--knowing we were going to drown because no help was coming. I woke up freezing and sad on a deep level that I couldn’t explain.
Again I went outside into my backyard, to see a fledgling Cooper’s hawk on the ground, but this time cold and lifeless. I have no idea if it was Stephen, but I was devastated nonetheless. I cried for a long time. I figured being inexperienced, he did not take proper shelter from the rain…and then the cold snap got him.
Worst of all, there were no hawk calls or hawk activity in my tree that morning. Maybe the whole family had not survived the storm.
On a hike, I asked the universe to send me signs that Stephen’s family was ok. I asked for a dream, or at least a feather...just some kind of special sign from Stephen.
Next day, I called Animal Control to take away the body. After they left, I burned some palo santo at Stephen’s final resting place to help me say goodbye. The minute I lit the stick….I heard baby hawk calls coming from my tree again.
I was overjoyed and overwhelmed with gratitude that my request had been answered. And the blessings didn’t stop there: one of the Cooper’s hawks left me a wing feather in the yard…and a few hours later, another juvenile Cooper’s hawk paid us a visit.
Yet again, I am in awe of the universe. The universe brought Stephen and me into full circle: sending him to my yard to learn to fly, allowing him to transition under my tree, and then sending me a wing (ie FLIGHT!) feather back again in my yard.
Many messages here! The circle of life, the healing after the storm (The Star card after the trauma of The Tower), connections between realms. But for me, the biggest clarity came from my friend and mentor who helped me understand another message about Stephen’s passing: that it is time for my masculine to leave. I named the bird Stephen because it felt right…he might have been Stephanie for all I know…but for some reason I choose to identify with a masculine totem.
The masculine energy has helped me and protected me through so much, and it is very easy for me to identify with it. On a collective level, the (often unbalanced) masculine has defined us culturally. Now the Feminine is regaining her power, but we are still confused and fighting ourselves. We see the once-victimized feminine, having broken free of her chains, now trying to use those same chains on her captors. We can’t solve the problem the way we created it.
Reactivity of any kind keeps us ALL still in chains.
I thought feminine energy was something I could practice, but never fully embody. But my guides through countless dreams, messages, and now Stephen are telling me something different. I need to become Feminine in all aspects of my being.
As the world shifts back into balance, as we learn to navigate a new world based on equality, mutuality, and love rather than hierarchy, greed, power-mongering ….embodying our individual Healed Feminine will be the catalyst for our new world. For our awakening.
We will not fly until we leave our need for control, our embrace of separation, our tolerance for pressure and fear.
We are more connected than we realize. And we can ALWAYS choose love.
In light,
~Adriana